i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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