Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
