I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
They took my balls.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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