Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
