So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
