ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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