Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
