This girl is more easily done than said...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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