I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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