i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
