I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
