508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
