i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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