My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
