my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
