you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
