yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
