Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
