As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
