Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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