There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
that is very illegal...i love you.
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