I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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