Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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