bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
