just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize