Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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