I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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