just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
