this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So much rum. So many feels.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize