Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
