At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
