Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
