new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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