my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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