Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
