White coat. Heels.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you win again, gameday.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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