they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
