Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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