capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
