Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
