Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize