stop calling my apartment porn island.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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