I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
