You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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