Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
