Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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