when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
