At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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