i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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