this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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