my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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