oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
