my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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