So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
