Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
