You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you didnt know i had herpes?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
