So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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