We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
