I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
