i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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