even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
