She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
