He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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