Sry I called you an 8
Soap is not a condiment
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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