Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
