hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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